


Easy as Apple Pie

by OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor



Series: Greed!Hughes [4]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Apple Pie, Family, Gen, Gracia adopts more strays, an abundance of ridiculous aprons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 01:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10374582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor/pseuds/OnceAndAlwaysEnglishMajor
Summary: Gracia adopts more strays, and the crew attempts baking. You can imagine how that goes.





	

After the third day, Gracia got tired of tripping over the sad lizard man every time she opened the door, so she invited Bido to stay with them. This necessitated some rearranging of the house and yet another conversation with the surprisingly over protective Colonel Roy Mustang. With a sigh, Gracia patiently explained to Roy (again) why she had invited Bido to live with them.

            “Your team decided he wasn’t dangerous, correct? You let him go. He came here. He refuses to leave here. He is for some reason fond of the spirit of avarice that is currently inhabiting my husband’s body. He is surprisingly good with Elicia. I have moved her bed into my room, and Bido is sleeping in Elicia’s room. Greed is still on the couch,” she told the colonel, who had gone strangely silent on the other end of the line.

            “I still think I should have my own room!” Greed yelled from the other room.

            “Bido is a contributing member of this household!” Gracia yelled back, hand over the receiver, before continuing her conversation with Mustang.

            “If you’re really that worried, send over one of your people. I know you’ve set up a base in the apartment three doors down on the other side of the hall.”

            “How do you know that?” Roy spluttered.

            “Maes is military intelligence. You don’t think he works everything out on his own, do you? It’s basically pillow talk,” Gracia said.

            “I did not need to know that,” Roy groaned. Gracia just laughed.

            “Who did you set up there, anyway? Falman or Fuery?” Gracia asked. Roy was silent on the other end of the line for a long moment.

            “I feel like I should be concerned about how much you know, Gracia Hughes,” he said seriously. Gracia laughed again.

            “Then it’s a good thing I’m on your side, isn’t it, Colonel?”

            “Yes, yes it is,” the colonel muttered quietly. Gracia could almost hear the gears turning on his mind through the phone.

            “Fine,” he said abruptly, as if coming to some sort of conclusion to an unspoken problem. “The lizard man can stay, as long as he doesn’t cause you any problems.” Gracia’s eyebrows shot up.

            “As if Greed doesn’t cause enough problems? Bido’s been nothing but polite, but you can trust that I will deal with the situation should the need arise,” she said, steel in her voice. Roy swallowed.

            “I don’t doubt that, that’s the scary part,” Roy said almost to himself. “Have a good day, Gracia.” The line went dead.

            “Dramatic as always,” Gracia muttered under her breath. And he still hadn’t told her which of his people he had set up in the apartment down the hall. Hanging up the phone, Gracia made a decision.

            “Ok crew, gather round! I’m going to need everyone’s help! We’re going to bake an apple pie for our new neighbor down the hall! Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

            “I don’t know if ‘fun’ is the word I would use…” Greed said laconically.

            _Shhh!_ Highes hissed in his head. _Gracia’s apple pies are better than anything you have ever tasted! Shut up and do what she says so that we can have a slice._

 **I need it,** Greed decided.

            _Good choice,_ Hughes said. Greed ignored him. It was **his** idea after all, and he was only going to participate for his own benefit.

            _Whatever helps you sleep at night,_ Hughes muttered. Neither would acknowledge that between their nightmares, they didn’t sleep much.

 

            Gracia took a deep breath as she looked at the group standing in her kitchen, hoping that this idea wasn’t a huge mistake. Her daughter bounced eagerly, she loved baking with mommy, and knew what was coming. The homunculus currently inhabiting her husband’s body was trying to look bored, but something told Gracia that he was secretly interested. She supposed that his greed included knowledge, even something as simple as how to bake an apple pie. The lizard chimera (another new concept for Gracia, one she really didn’t want to wrap her head around) twisted the hem of his shirt nervously, as if he were still afraid of being kicked out at any second. This could very easily turn into an unmitigated disaster, Gracia thought. No. I can make this work.

            “Ok, aprons first!” she instructed cheerfully. Elicia squealed and raced to dig her favorite apron out of the bottom drawer. Gracia motioned for Greed and Bido to follow the toddler.

            “Help please?” Elicia asked, holding out the pink floral apron that was far too big for her. Laughing, Gracia swung Elica up onto a chair to tuck, fold, and tie the apron until it was the appropriate size. Bido picked a white one patterned with small pink hearts. Greed held a ruffled apron with ‘Kiss the Cook’ in looping red letters between two fingers, mildly horrified.

            “It’s that or get messy,” Gracia told him. Greed reluctantly slipped the apron over his head.

            “Tie it for me?” he asked with a smirk. Gracia leveled a stare at him.

            “I do believe you are perfectly capable,” she said, turning away from Greed. He fought to keep the pout off his face.

            **Why doesn’t she respond to my charisma?** Greed wondered.

            _You don’t have anything she wants,_ Hughes told him.

            **What?**

 _Your charm works because you offer what other people want, in exchange for what you want, whatever it might be in that moment. But you can’t offer Gracia any of the things she actually wants._ Hughes explained.

            **What could she possibly wants that I can’t offer?** Greed scoffed.

            _Her family safe,_ Hughes said, sadness hanging heavy in his voice. _A better world for Elicia to grow up in._

 **This conversation is over,** Greed said abruptly. **I’m going to bake that pie. Make those skills mine.** No way was Greed even going to _touch_ the emotions he could feel rolling off Hughes’ soul. Nope. Focus on the pie.

 

            Well. It wasn’t a _complete_ disaster, Gracia thought as she surveyed the national disaster that was once her kitchen. Two gorgeous apple pies sat cooling on the counter. The rest of the kitchen, and her “helpers” however… Greed, Bido, and Elicia are covered in flour. And bits of apple. Greed has sugar in his hair, and Elicia has a smudge of butter on her check. Bido is nervously trying to brush flour off Greed and straighten the kitchen. He breaks Gracia’s heart a little, she knows he’s still afraid that she’s going to kick him out. Too late, Hughes always said she was the worst about picking up strays. (She won’t know for a while yet that she actually shares that quality with Greed.) Gracia scoops Elicia up and plants the toddler on her hip while she gave instructions to the other two.

            “I’m going to clean up Elicia, you boys get cleaned up, then we’ll take a pie down the hall to meet our new neighbor, ok?” She disappeared into the bedroom before Greed could offer an appropriately sarcastic reply.

 

            “Oh, Mrs. Hughes,” Fuery stuttered, opening the door. Gracia smiled softly, pleased that she had been right about which of his subordinates Mustang had coerced into monitoring her ‘situation’.

            “We just brought you an apple pie to welcome you to the building!” Gracia said with a wink. “I like to meet all the new residents. You’ll have to join us for dinner sometime,” she continued cheerfully. Fuery didn’t quite know how to handle it.

            _My, my, our little family is growing at quite a rate._

 **What are you blathering about now?** Greed asked in frustration.

            _In case you missed it, Gracia definitely just adopted the private. Fuery is officially part of the family now. It happened the moment the kid opened the door._

 **This is not a family!** Greed argued. **I am not part of a family. I don’t need one.**

 _Check your trauma,_ Hughes told him without malice. _You’re part of a family whether you like it or not. My daughter calls you ‘Uncle’._  Hughes could feel Greed’s disgust and confusion.

            _Don’t think too much about it, kid,_ he offered. _It’s weird for me too._

 **I am centuries old! I am not a kid, and definitely not your kid!** Greed informed him petulantly. The argument only ended when Gracia turned the group around to eat their own apple pie and clean up the kitchen.

            **Just maybe,** Greed thought as he inhaled his second piece of pie, **this family isn’t so bad.**


End file.
